Wednesday, August 27, 2008 . 10:05 PM

seetoh played a super nice song at training yesterday. and it reminded me how badly i want to play all the songs that were left unfinished. so i decided to change the imeem playlist. =)

River Flows In You. such a beautiful piece. repeatative though it is, its still very nice. thats on my to play list now. muahaha.

my to-play list... its growing and growing and growing. sometimes you just don't know what you have until its gone. as with me and the piano.

when i get that new piano, i'm gonna be on it sooo long i might not even want to eat!

i've already set what i want to play and replay. to play will be: eyes on me, melodies of life, seal of the wind, river flows in you, one winged angel.

replay list will be: little bird, i'm proud, azurite ~deianeira~, kanashimi no mukou e, true blue, autumn theme, aeris theme, hoshizora no waltz.

thats 13 pieces to play. and thsi time, i'll make sure i finish all of them. no more like last time. half way through and stop.

mom said she'll get a piano in october. hope she keeps her word. i'mm really dying without one. the com is driving me nuts....

this time i'll make sure things are different. 100% commitment! i'll get a videocam and record videos for youtube. this is for sure. only time stand in the way. (other than NS. knn ccb mofo soab ljb pcb)

Monday, August 25, 2008 . 10:52 AM

rise and shine! to a fucked up morning!

why does my family like to screw me all the time. someone please answer me. first its the mom that always finds reason to fuck me. now even dad???

why a fucked up morning? oh yes you'll want to hear this out. because of breakfast! fuck it man some people simply don't appreciate help. dig me up early in the morning to buy breakfast is already bad enough. and i'm WILLING TO DO IT ALREADY. can't at least respect that???

want me to buy breakfast, hand me the money and walk away. WHAT?? I'M SUPPOSE TO STARE AT THE MONEY AND VISUALIZE WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT??? I'M SICK AND TIRED OF GUESSING WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT!!!! I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK! SIMPLE THING!! HAND ME THE MONEY AND TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT!!!!

can't you at least be thankful of what i'm doing??? i'm buying your meals and running your errands!!! I"M NOT EVEN COMPLAINING!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IF I JUST SUDDENLY COLLAPSE AND DIE??? HUH!?!?!?!?!?

please la. all i'm asking is that you take the initiative to let me know what you want and not make me guess and always have to ask. i can't do anything when i don't know what i'm suppose to do!!!

just hand me the money, then " buy me a ba zhang " simple as that!!! nothing wrong, no harm done we both happy. when i know what you want, i will MOVE.

tell you this. I HATE GUESSING AND I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU GUYS WANT!!! AND YOU GUYS JUST SIT THERE EXPECTING ME TO READ YOUR MINDS AND KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT.

there goes my day. THANKS FOR RUINING IT.






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Sunday, August 24, 2008 . 6:00 PM

soccer yesterday was fun. finally got to play out rather than being the keeper all the time. but i still got to brush up on ball control.. gotta stop panicking when i have the ball. confidence!

right, theres someone whom i really dislike at soccer sessions. some dude who likes to act like he is the manager + team captain of all of us there. he was ordering me to be the keeper yesterday. what do i look like a pooch? and he speak of others as noobs, no sportsmanship and rough. i truly hope he was referring to himself when he said all that.

hope more people goes to soccer next week. always short of people to form 3 teams. and i hate playing on that dictator's team. if i want the ball, i have to challenge the opponent for it. i can be completely open for a free run down the flank and he wouldn't pass it. such a bias captain he is! i'll never improve if i play keeper all the time or play out but don't get to touch the ball at all..... me and julian should team together next time. away from that prick. pity marcus too, always being suckered into keeping for that nut. two of us are always the ones who get thrown the keeper position.

argh come on! how long is it going to take for Diablo 3 to launch!? before i enlist please.

Friday, August 22, 2008 . 2:24 PM

Josh had a new video recently. and it was sweet. 'Changin' from D. Gray-man by Stephanie. Stephanie! i like her songs. oh man, i cant do without a piano. die.. i'm slowly forgetting all the pieces i've played.

i've been whining a lot about not having a piano to play. this sucks. i hate whining and i hate it when i have no piano to play and i whine when i have no piano to play and i hate whining but i have no piano to play thats why i whine and i really hate it. FAARK LAA. AH MAA GET ME A NEW PIANO ASAP TYVM

Monday, August 11, 2008 . 9:58 PM

so tempted to get back to competitive fencing after watching the men's epee finals yesterday. but at a bad time since the coach just left. if i only i wasn't due for enlistment come end of this year, i'd start off with next year's competition season.

still yet to figure out why i always get stuck at a certain standard after much training. think i'll go back tomorrow to fence a bit. wonder who will be there.

fencing is such a costly sport. takes big bucks to stay committed. broken weapons sure dig a deep deep hole in ones pockets. i probably wouldn't bother buying new ones if ever my old ones break. which means if my blades break, that would mark the end of fencing. but then again, i cant be too sure.

i suppose going back to fencing is fully beneficial. most importantly, i get to exercise. really need to recover my stamina. can barely run 10 minutes around the soccer court nowadays. my only fear is that it will be the same routine as it was when i left. which was the reason why i left the last time. oh, wait the last time i left was because i got a job at digiphoto. that was an experience in hell. after a certain communist appeared that is.

i've been posting nonsense lately. wonder whats going on. hmm.. maybe nothing's going on. thats why i've been posting trash. yes that must be it. theres nothing happening for me thats why i've turned to nonsensical posts.

Saturday, August 9, 2008 . 10:01 PM

you know, having dream(s) is extremely important in life. its what makes you want to live, to be able to achieve your aims and live your dreams. without dreams and goals in life, it can't really be called life. because you're just living blank. like those old gangsters that sit at the coffeeshop every single day blasting away with their vulgarities, or those malay punks that loiter around all day picking fights with random people. these people have no reason to live and are a nuisance to society. the world should be purged of such creatures.

some people dream small, have a family, a roof above their heads is all they want. its simple but it makes them feel happy. others dream big. billionaire, president, etc. these big dreamers are the minorities. and fewer of them still, achieve their goals. big dreams, obviously, require extreme motivation, dedication and drive. something only a handful of big dreamers can muster.

i wouldn't say i have big dreams. but they're a little off the typical big dreams. and way bigger than small dreams. so perhaps i shall bore my dear readers with them(p.s. this is the part when you close your browser due to sheer boredom LOL)

so lets see, before i start sleeping in a coffin, i would like to:

- move to japan
- live in a big tradtional japanese home(specifications classified =x)
- direct my own anime series
- publish my own manga series
- reach into outer space
- own and fly a P51 Mustang
- be a godly pianist skilled enough to play any piece known to man.

so you can call me a dreamer. but all these mean nothing to be honest. i haven't a single drip of motivation, dedication or drive. well we'll just see how many of those stuff i can slash off before i go extinct.


if reincarnation is true, i'd like to carry my memories from this life to the next. assuming i don't get reincarnated as a cockroach.

Thursday, August 7, 2008 . 2:55 PM

research shows that japanese females live the longest in the world. and the males rank 3rd in the world. imagine dying before your wife. that would make her so lonely that it just won't do. anyway, living long is great. there are definitely things that you wish to see or do that won't exist anytime soon. but then again, whats the point.. when its finally available and you're just too old to get to it.

migrate to japan! i should put it on my wish list. singapore just lack that variety for people who wish for a different future. its a great blessing to be born in singapore. but it would be a curse(strictly in my opinion) to spend all your life in singapore. thats why i'm planning ahead, to move to japan! (effects of watching too much Japan Hour) but i'm serious. hehe.

ah my precious precious youth. 13 to 20 years old is the most precious time of life. to try new things. go to new places. it was a grave mistake to have wasted much of it to games. and now i've made yet another one by wasting the last 2 years in NS. hahaha! there goes my youth! till next time you cursed son of a bitch! hahahahaha!! *sobs*

wasted most of 2008 at home. how sad. i'm entering loner civilization. you know, loner isn't bad.. but a HOME loner is just dead wrong. i seriously need to stop being lazy. i need to earn some bucks to wander the world. yes... move to japan, go to easter islands, new zealand etc. but lets just start out within singapore.

i think i'll fail in life. if i'm able to lift this curse called lazy then perhaps i'll have a slim chance of success. with that said, time to spend yet another day lazing around at home. no no no, i gotta do something...


a storm is brewing...

Saturday, August 2, 2008 . 12:33 AM

forbidden to enter the music room. *sob* my heart totally sank when i saw the wrecked up grand in the school hall. once an elegant work of wood and strings, is now broken into 5 seperate pieces. heart ached so much as i hear its suffering tone. if only i could, i'd take it away, restore it to its former beauty, and... have it for myself XP

played the zebra for some time at school hall just now during fencing training. was able to finish page 1 of Seal of the Wind from FF10-2. unfortunately, i've gotten rusty on Eyes on Me and Melodies of Life. not to mention a very shaky Aeris Theme. *violently scratches head* grant me a wish please, let me awaken from my slumber tomorrow to discover a Bohemia 125A Proffesional in white high polish sitting right beside my bed in its designated spot. oh my, the skies will fall if that happens won't it?

i need a DRIVE man. i need some gas to propel myself forward and do those things that my mind wants me to do. i have my sketchbook, i have my pencil, i have my eraser and i have my sketch print. but i just lack that driving force to get down to it. damn it. damn it to high heaven. my friend here called ' Lazy ' has jammed the hole to my gas tank. and its really hard to get it out of that damn A hole.


girlfriend? sure! i want one! i want a NEKOMIMI to be my girlfriend!! WAAAAhhaaaahhAAAAhaaAAhhhAAAHHAAaaa


hoi, nuts ah?