Wednesday, January 30, 2008 . 2:56 AM
i've been wondering a lot nowadays. i really dont know what to do with my life. i've practically ruined 17 years. the best 17 years to become someone special. somehow i just cant forgive myself for that. thats one thing. i have completely no idea for the future. those dumb plans i laid down back then were either too far-fetched or ruined by myself. so tired.there are 3 things i would like to do now. learn japanese language, learn to draw manga and find a job. of course its just my mind thinking all these things.. i probably wont even start on any of those this year. yes i'm just so freaking laid back. so disappointed with myself.
so i've screwed my o lvls. now comes the question if i'll be allowed deferment from ns for private studies. life is suppose to be great now. but i'm getting tired of it. really tired.
ah screw the emo thinking... had a few games of cnc with edward today. 2v2 is really fun. we owned and got owned. just realized i shouldn't be patient sometimes. patience can sometimes lead to total destruction as i've experienced today. the last game today was the best. though i got creamed in 8 minutes... edward owned the other 2. edward so pro. haha.
please bring me to japan and forget to bring me back.
